Finding your power My Lovegodessesss’, buckle up because we’re about to dive into the wild world of women’s inner desires and confidence—or as I like to call it, the saga of “Why Can’t I Just Follow My Own Damn Heart?” Spoiler alert: it’s because society loves to meddle. We’re going to explore why women spend their lives seeking external validation and how to reclaim their inner power. So, grab your popcorn and get ready for some real talk about finding your truth and kicking societal expectations to the curb. Sometimes women define permission to follow their inner desires or inner truth as confidence. We live in a society that operates on following the principles of your culture and not going against the word of your parents or the way things have been established in the past. Women over-prioritize and overvalue the idea that they should be doing certain things, even though their inner desire is different from what the world tells them. So, women spend their lives walking around, looking into other people’s eyes, asking for permission to do what they truly desire. They seek that truth outside themselves—in other people, places, books, educational materials, universities, and different social institutions. The problem with that mentality is that the truth is never found outside, in the external. The truth is in her permission. Inner permission lies in giving yourself enough value and putting yourself in a place of utter importance to value your own position, word, and opinion over the opinions of other external sources—even those you have developed a great level of respect for, such as your parents, teachers, university instructors, and spiritual teachers and mentors. Women walk around feeling betrayed, devalued, and cheated on simply because they have put someone else’s perspective and opinion over their own, ignoring their inner voice of truth. They have placed their trust in someone else while completely devaluing themselves. The feeling of betrayal that comes from trusting other people can only arise when you stop ignoring your own truth and put it into the hands of others. It is no surprise that others don’t care about you as much as you do. Why would you be walking around seeking opinions from outside yourself? This is when you start feeling like a victim because you have given the keys to your own well-being, happiness, and life to someone else. You have stepped out of taking responsibility for your own life and decisions and handed it over to others. Most women live lives full of bitterness over past experiences, mistakes, and betrayals, thinking that somebody else wronged them, without realizing that they themselves not only allowed this to happen but promoted it by giving their lives over to someone else’s decisions. The key to healing this comes from taking that responsibility back, releasing others who are outside of your control, forgiving them for their wrongdoings, and deciding that from this moment on, you will take responsibility for your own decisions. Measure everything against your values and opinions instead of those of others. This is when you can control how your life unfolds because you can control yourself, your perception, your mindset, and therefore your life and how you perceive it. You come out of the victim state by first deciding to no longer be a victim of your circumstances and taking responsibility for everything that has happened. Only from that place can you take your power back. When you own that power, you have the ability to change everything in your life. Only from the place of owning where you are can you make a different choice and take a different action to get a different result. And that result will be from a place of power, not from being a victim of your life and circumstances. This leads us to explore the concept of power and truly define what power is. We all want power; we fight for power. There are wars between countries for power. However, have you ever truly questioned the definition of the word power? Power is such an interesting word. In a general sense, power refers to your ability and capacity to influence or direct the behavior of other people, events, or resources. Did you notice the word influence? Influence is the most important word in this definition. Every single person has the freedom of choice. They can choose to follow your definitions and directions, or they can choose to go otherwise. In that respect, how do we put this definition into the perspective of your own power? Your own power starts with the decision to influence your own choices, leading yourself into actions based on your values and definitions that feel good and align with who you are at that particular time and space. As you change, your definitions change, your values change, and you are always evolving—making new and different decisions at every step of your life. Because you are evolving and changing, the person you were five years ago is not the same person you are now. Your definitions change based on new life experiences, new people you meet, new books you read, and new angles and opinions you hear on the same subject. Therefore, your position changes. Who can control that position on one subject or another has influence on you and therefore on your power. If you are conscious of understanding who has influence on your life, you can decide to follow that influence willingly, go against it, or be your own decider and influence yourself. This is the ultimate truth. When you are able to direct your own life based on your true values and desires, you are living authentically and true to who you are at every moment. Therefore, your self-power is your own power to influence yourself. When you develop this level of authentic connection to who you truly are—the self-core, your own opinions based on your self-value—and most importantly, follow it against all the shoulds and conditions of society or what parents are telling you to do, only then are you able to live life authentically, in alignment with who you are, and have power in your own life because you, by definition, have influence over how you want to live your own life versus following the influence of others. There is another layer to this conversation. You can believe that you are following your own influence. However, you may be following your definitions of shoulds and fear of being judged or going against the grain. By doing that, you believe that you are following your own path. Not always are you truly attached to who you are. Sometimes the connection between your mind and following the logic based on fear versus following what you truly want to be doing or the path of highest excitement and joy may not necessarily lead you to the place you are ultimately trying to control your way into. It is by following your fun, excitement, and pleasure—in other words, following your heart and what feels good and exciting—that you find your true self. Your pleasure, fun, excitement, bliss, and love are your highest vibrations. Therefore, when you follow your highest vibration, you follow the path of your highest self. Your highest self leads you from within, while your external ego self leads you from the place of mind, not the heart. When you lead from a place of your heart, you get to a destination that is heart-based. When you lead from a place of your mind, you get some results, but they are not satisfactory, fun, or exciting and don’t bring you to your highest self destination. They don’t bring you to the place of highest fulfillment and excitement, which is your purpose. You don’t need to know the whole journey; you just need to know the next most exciting step you are inspired to take. You don’t need to see the entire staircase; you only need to see the first step. Your mind is designed for survival. Your mind’s job is to analyze what is now in order to protect and save you. Your mind always operates from a place of fear because its purpose is survival. It will always operate from a place of fear. However, your heart, soul, or inner self is connected to your highest self and knows the whole journey, even though you cannot see the whole journey from that place. But when you follow the next step, and the next step, and the next step that feels good, you are brought to the completion of what you truly want and desire because your highest self knows the path. Your only job is to trust that knowledge. Your only job is to believe that you’re being guided. Your only job is to follow what feels good from a place of joy and excitement. This is when you rewrite your position of being a victim and tune into your own power. This is when you take responsibility for where you are going next, influenced by your heart, not your mind or what others are telling you to do. This is when you transform yourself from being a victim of your life circumstances because you don’t own your power into the victor of your life because you follow your own influence. The next logical question is: How does stepping into your power respond to your aspect of your own dark femininity? Dark femininity is defined by women stepping into their power after experiencing abuse, victimization, challenges, or disappointments, and turning things around for the better. This could involve relationships where women have been mistreated, allowing them to use their anger to step into their power and grow from there. Dark Femininity can be defined as women becoming dominant, telling men what to do, and pursuing their own desires instead of submitting and pleasing others, including men, in order to be liked. Dark femininity is stepping into your own sexuality, owning it, and receiving power through your own sexuality. Dark femininity is taking ownership of yourself and your life. Dark femininity is the first step after being victimized or mistreated. Dark femininity is much bigger because it is not a final concept as many women might think. Dark femininity can be a healing step towards self-ownership because you have to own the problem first. You cannot change anything unless you own it. Dark femininity is about stepping into uncomfortable feelings in your darkness, owning them, processing them, and transmuting them into anger and other emotions. It’s about feeling the feelings, processing the emotions, and letting them go in order for you to step into a position of power. Owning your life means taking responsibility for your life and your problems to make a change and start working on improving your life. The journey towards your Love Goddess is the ultimate journey towards falling back in love with your life, being passionate, and shining your light brightly into the world. However, there is a higher level to your inner evolution that is available, which is the concept of light femininity. Women can’t sustain themselves in dark femininity because they will not be fulfilled for life. Sometimes it’s good to revisit the concept of dark femininity, but the next step in the evolution of dark femininity is light femininity. Women might think that embracing their darkness is the ultimate solution; however, embracing the darkness is only a stepping stone. It’s a middle journey, and it will not bring you the fullness and aliveness that you are seeking because only from your level can you see the next one brightly. Your ultimate goal is your divine femininity, which is your light femininity, that will bring you ultimate fulfillment and happiness. Coming back to your divinity is your ultimate fulfillment. And there you have it, lovegodesss’! The grand finale of our journey to self-empowerment and inner truth. Who knew the secret to happiness was simply telling the world to shove it and following your own desires? Remember, you don’t need anyone’s permission to live your best life. Embrace your inner power, let your heart lead the way, and watch how quickly those societal shoulds turn into a faint, irrelevant whisper. So go on, be the fabulous, self-assured queen you were always meant to be. And the next time someone tries to tell you how to live your life, just smile, nod, and think, “Bless your heart, but I’ve got this.”