Overcoming the Shadows of Self-Minimization

#### Introduction

Have you ever felt the urge to voice your opinion, only to pull back because you thought, “My opinion doesn’t matter”? Have you found yourself silenced by the fear of judgment, wondering, “What will they think of me?” This pervasive fear of judgment and rejection is an ancient instinct, rooted deeply within us, designed to protect us from social exclusion.

#### The Roots of Fear

Historically, society thrived on interdependence. Communities, or villages, were created to sustain collective life. Being exiled from such a community often meant a slow and lonely death. An individual alone in the wild could hardly survive. Although modern society values individualism over communal dependency, these primal fears remain ingrained within us, lingering as ancestral echoes.

Society is much more independent now. We have created a structure to sustain ourselves and our individual value over community value in modern society. However, fears are still ingrained in us on an ancestral and energetic level. We still have a fear of not fitting in, and on a deep subconscious level, this fear is equal to death.

Particularly for women, these fears are compounded by historical traumas, such as the witch trials and burnings. Women were persecuted simply for existing and being visible. The fear of visibility and sharing one’s voice is therefore deeply terrifying.

Overcoming the fear of visibility and sharing your voice means becoming okay with not fitting in and being fully and completely on your own if not accepted. This fear manifests in many ways: suppressing our authenticity, creativity, and ultimately, our very selves.

#### Early Imprints

From an early age, societal programming compounds these fears. Instances where our opinions were dismissed, where we felt unheard and unseen, begin as early as childhood and solidify during adolescence. By our teenage years, many of us rebel against these oppressive norms, seeking to reclaim our voices.

Of course, there were situations when our opinion was not heard and disregarded, and we felt unheard and unseen. We go through these stages pretty early as kids, sometimes as early as four years old, but definitely during middle school. It is only by our teenage years that we gather the courage to rebel against the rules and opinions of others that made us feel unheard so we could finally stand up for ourselves.

Recently, my son, who is 10, had a tantrum when his school teacher made a judgment in favor of another child while my son knew the child was wrong. This suppressed trauma resurfaced two weeks later during a tantrum with us, his parents. He shared how unfair he felt the judgment was, as the teacher gave the other kid the benefit of the doubt, thus accepting their version of the story.

#### Personal Journeys and Spiritual Awakenings

When I had my spiritual awakening at age 14 and stopped eating meat, I was not taken seriously. I was so vividly awakened to the truth that I was able to see from the higher vibration and higher frequency of my own evolution. However, I was met with deep misunderstanding. I could feel everyone around me talking behind my back, laughing at me, and saying that this was temporary, not taking me seriously. This affected my sense of value and my self-esteem to the point where I had to protect myself by shutting down completely and stopping sharing my worldview that I had discovered during my spiritual ascension.

A lot of times, shielding ourselves is our protection mechanism against the harsh reactions we experience from others when we share pure, valuable insights.

#### The Masks We Wear

I remembered myself just 12 years ago, being afraid to share my opinion with the world because of the rejection I had experienced during my teenage years. It was during those years, after my spiritual awakening had been shut down by the harsh reality of my outer world, that I was required to return to school and apply for university. This is when my dark feminine side emerged. I became angry at the world and sought revenge and rebellion.

I decided to immerse myself in a completely new environment. I aimed to become the most popular girl at the university and play the artificial role of a socialite who drinks, parties, and wraps guys around her finger. I was successful playing this new role, and it was fun to an extent. However, my deep desire to be loved and seen was starving to be heard and understood.

I ended up moving away from home, across the ocean at 19, in my own quest to find freedom and escape the chains of my family who were blocking my independence. Only when I met my husband at the age of 20 was I able to find peace and finally be seen, heard, and understood. I never thought I would receive that from a person who turned out to be my soulmate.

Even during those times, I had to play by the rules set by my school, my parents, and my university to be normalized and accepted in that particular society. I became proficient in learning the rules. I became proficient in the psychology of people. I became proficient in using psychology to strategically receive love from others because I was afraid that I would not be accepted for who I truly am. I had to create an artificial persona to be liked and accepted because I believed people would not accept my authentic, true self. A decade earlier, I had been hurt so badly by not being accepted for that deep, authentic part of my soul that I desperately tried to share with my family and others.

My story illustrates the story of many people because everyone out there has their own story of being hurt by sharing the piece of their soul that has been rejected and hurt them deeply. They thought it was easier to put up barriers and walls instead of sharing themselves authentically and truly for fear of being rejected again.

#### The Illusion of Rejection

Reflecting on my journey, I realized that rejection and belittlement are often projections of our own self-rejection. Life is a mirror, reflecting our inner world. When we reject ourselves, we see rejection in others. We must recognize our divine essence, understanding that we are reflections of the universe itself. The only reason you would get rejected is that rejection is true for you and you are the one rejecting yourself. You are the one not accepting your true self and the authenticity of your soul. You are the one rejecting yourself out of fear of not being loved. While it is you who is not loving yourself. Life is your mirror and your lesson that you are yet to learn—a lesson in self-love, self-acceptance, and full radical self-authenticity.

#### Embracing Authenticity

We all carry stories of rejection that cause us to hide behind barriers. However, life’s mirror teaches us that these lessons are opportunities for self-love. The fear of being insignificant is an illusion. When we shift our thinking, acknowledging our central importance in the universe, we reclaim our power. We become the stars of our own lives, the directors, producers, and actors of our own stories.

There is only you that exists. The universe is you. You see yourself in other people because you are one. When you go out there, you will find more of you. Rejection is an illusion. Fear is an illusion. Everything in the universe is energy, and that energy is you. You are part of the source and therefore you are the source. You are just a different dimension and version of the source that has set itself on the path of discovering many different versions of itself.

#### Breaking Free

The lessons of rejection and the lessons of belittling and projecting onto yourself that other people taught you throughout your lifetime are false. As with anything in life, you have a choice to decide what that means for you, because life is meaningless until you give something meaning, whether positive or negative.

And so you can decide that when other people belittled you, told you that you are not enough, told you that you will not find happiness if you leave them, told you that your opinion doesn’t matter, told you that you are insignificant in the world, and that you are no one, those people were simply reflecting back to you the mirror of who you are and giving you the lesson that you came here to learn. That lesson is self-love.

The fear of being insignificant and not being enough is false. You are the only thing that exists, and everything is simply a reflection of you. You are a divine reflection of the source, and you learn everything through your own projection. Choose that projection to be beautiful and grand because you come from an unstoppable force.

When you shift your thinking to recognize that you are the most important thing in the universe, you become the center of your world. You are the most important person in your own life, the only person worthy of being filled with love, joy, bliss, and excitement. You realize that each one of us is our own little universe, combining into one big universe. You come to understand that there is nothing more important in your own world than your own sense of self, because through that sense, the world is reflected back to you.

You come to see that you are the star of your life, and you get to create the role for your own life too. You are the director, the producer, the actor, and the screenwriter of your own story that you decide to create and live out.

When you know that you write your own story, the fear of rejection becomes completely invalid. When you understand that you are the only actor in your own story, your only job becomes to find peace with yourself, to experience bliss with yourself, and to have fun with yourself. Instead of seeking all of those things from other people, you realize that you simply cannot fill yourself with other people’s words or opinions. If you do, it’s temporary and fades quickly, and what’s worse, you give them the power to decide what story you get to play in