Today is October 15 and it is pretty significant day for our family. October 15th is an infant and pregnancy loss day. But what is even more important – October 15 is the day we found out I was pregnant with my son Alexi after losing my son Angel earlier that year on June 26. Babies bring so much happiness and joy because they symbolize a  beginning of a new life, and  when they die the feeling of  guilt, failure, injustice surround you for a long time, and nobody can understand what you are going through, and words just cannot justify or compare to the depth of your emotions. The range of emotions varies from the feeling of life being so cruel taking our children before they get to be born to a feeling of a complete failure to give life, jealousy  of other couples having healthy babies and  insane desire to have your own kids so bad.  I want to support all the mothers who have gone through that awful experience and parents who are leaving their hospital room empty handed  when they were supposed to bring this little bundle of joy back home. I am with you mothers  and fathers of angel babies.  I have been there and  I found peace.  I used to have this necklace  that I lost. And I am asking the universe to somehow find this necklace that had a little angel and his name on it.  We had 3 angels  one for our son  Angel, one for Steve, and one for me and I lost mine and I feel guilty for that.  Sorry for being so emotional and all over the place. I started this blog post originally  to say that October 15 th is in fact a happy day for us.  October 15th is very symbolic for us, because that was the day when the world beyond physical and the physical world came together for us in a really strange but magical chain of events 3 years ago. You can read more on that story here.

DSC_3070-2To say it short, all the signs came together, including Mexican radio waking us up in the morning, when no alarm was set and cell phone numbers  symbolizing Angel’s due date, and then a crazy desire to cry all day, and a text message from a friend reminding me that October 15th is an infant loss day. All these signs somehow sparked an idea in my head, and I went and bought a pregnancy test and discovered I was pregnant. And even though, It was not Angel’s soul that came to me in my second pregnancy, I knew it just meant to be this way . Alexi came to me in my meditation and told me his name and I knew it was a boy from the start.  That day I healed from my pregnancy loss and I found peace. That is why I will always remember this day and take a moment away from my busy life and sit in peace and give gratitude to the blessing of having a healthy child, forget all the difficult moments of being a mother and praise all the happy moments. We people, always tend to think that happiness is something that will come in the future, but it is not true. We will always tend to think this way and chase our imaginary happiness. We need to slow down and realize how much we already have and how happy we are as it is and enjoy this moment of our lives. Life is so fragile, enjoy it now! Remember why you are here. Don’t waste your life doing unimportant. Be grateful, help others, find healing, make a difference. We are so blessed to be here!

Love Katya

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About The Author

Katya Melvin

Dreamer, Fighter, Entrepreneur